Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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