thus making me awesome and them whores
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize