Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
