My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
