On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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