One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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