There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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