if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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