Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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