I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize