sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
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I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want to make out with him forever
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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