He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize