I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
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She told me I should be a condom model.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
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he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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