Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Randomize
