There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
