I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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