community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
