i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
