I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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