haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
