I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize