ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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