Christians are straight up FREAKS
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
