So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
