It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
