If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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