Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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