TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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