Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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