i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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