I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm too high and old for this...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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