Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
