he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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