You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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