Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize