Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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