So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
