How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Your cock deserves a montage
My breasts were aching with rage.
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I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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