Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
