mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
