Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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