Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize