were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
