I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
