What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
