is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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