My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
