I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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