You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
