census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
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I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
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After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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