Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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