It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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