Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
