Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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