I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
