the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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