what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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