he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
