im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
