me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
