i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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