She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
