Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
