Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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