Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
